So much has happened since my last blog I don’t even know where to begin but I guess I can start by saying I lost my shit after getting a text from the mechanic telling me the words I didn’t want to hear, she was a goner. I guess that’s what I get for not naming her… somehow I had convinced myself she would run again but I’m still not a master of the manifestation only merely got lucky a few times. Well a few days earlier an amazing couple arrived from washington and didn’t want their new car anymore and was allowing the repo man his luck in finding it in crestone. I personally don’t think they would have but, moving on. I didn’t handle the jeep info very well and just kinda removed myself from everyone for a few days and ate mushrooms trying to make sense of shit and get my head right and finally calmed it enough to propose the plan that instead of letting the repo man take it, I would take over their payments and then everyone wins and they gladly accepted. I already had my things backed because I was hell bent on getting my break and was certain my jeep was getting fixed but instead I ended up with new Chevy something or other midsize. #blessed. That fucking place, crestone, is ridiculous in its ways. It just doesn’t make sense until you step back and find the lesson in everything. It’s always there when you look hard enough. After announcing my plans to immediately get the f out, the couple I just got the vehicle from had decided they were going ti take bechas van back to washington as well. We talked for a minute and shared plans but ultimately agreed I would go to washington to grab a trailer to pull back. For what the two just did for me I would drive to China to do anything they wanted. The young genius, fen, decided that he wanted to tag along with me because I was going to sedona and cali on my trip. I agreed he could come because I like the kid and his people could hook us up because I had way less than a thousand bucks when I started this trip and I’m 4 days in and completely broke but we will get back ti that. We all hugged and I hit the road as fast as I could because I’d been praying for a break from crestone for weeks now. Apparently my excitement showed with my enthusiasm on the gas peddle because I got pulled over. I had been in crestone for 6weeks and never once seen anything remotely close to a cop but,,,,, crestone curse had to kick me in the nuts on the way out the door. I got nervous immediately and told Fen that I was probably going to jail and to make sure he gets Bernie back to the castle. When the young, good looking, Florida state trooper asked me if I knew why he stopped me I responded that it has to be my speed and he agreed and said I was going 28 over. Yeah that’s a fuck ton. When he asked me if I was high I responded no and that was the truth because I wasn’t. The reason I was driving so fast is because we needed to get 200 miles to a dispensary before it closed because I couldn’t buy it with my card in any other state cheaply. Than he asked if I was on narcotics or drinking I laughed and said “not since dec25, 2014”. He could clearly tell I wasn’t kidding with the way I said it. It was obvious I’m proud of that. When he asked what we were doing out there I explained to him exactly what we do in terms of making a community and retreat setting to heal. He believed me and asked for all the paperwork and this is where I thought for sure I was getting cuffed because I didn’t even know there name or anything but I finally wrestled together enough paper and crystal clear truth he finally asked for my license and this is where I was positive I was getting cuffed because it’s impossible that Florida finally backed off me and dropped all my warrants and it’s impossible that I have I valid license in any state but he asked for all: Florida-id, Michigan id, colorado id, and last but most importantly, my Wisconsin occupational driver’s license with 2 holes punched in it but expired since 02. When I started thinking about it when he ran my things I thought I was done but I wasn’t. When he came back to the car and said the insurance is expired and I have a valid license in Wisconsin but if I don’t take care of it I’m dumb. He say my “22” tatoo on my arm and nodded at me and said something along the lines of “ya man, I’m a vet as well, I lost a few buddies as well, slow down, semper fi”. Wtf just happened? That’s all I could think about for 20miles as I realized I was free from crestone. When I finally signed back in I could hear the wind blowing and finally asked Fen what the sound was he turned around and screamed that the fucking hatch was opened and we were doing 70 with everything I owned possibly be scattered all over the highway. I pulled over right away and as far as I know I think all my things are still here…. I’m lucky anything was still there but again, I just wanted to get away as fast as possible so I didn’t care. I drove a few hours to durango, got weed, got a hotel and got to sleep………….:::::——- this is the first sentence in my new post which is two days after I started this one but I just wasn’t feeling the “writing” thing because I realized as I was writing that last one that I wasn’t anywhere near settled or in a relaxed state yet. I was gone and in a different environment but I was driving the entire time so I never just let go and relaxed until today I realized. I feel really good now. This 5 day road trip hasn’t went well and I had to borrow a few bucks from a friend last night to get this hotel for another night because robin isn’t getting released until right now. Apparently getting into the country legally is no easy task at this border currently. I could throw a rock and hit Tijuana i hear. He’ll be here tonight tonight and I made it very clear he was probably going to have to finance this journey until I get paid because taking Fen along whom I’ve been forced to treat like my child and pay for everything and getting robbed by a homeless couple I tried to help. I guess I didn’t talk about that experience so he it goes. I was out wondering the strip in vegas at midnight just to get away and look at the lights and shit when I encountered a couple on a corner and started talking to them about my vacation and where I came from and why I’m so chipper and nice and it let to an exchange of phone numbers as I wanted to see if they would be interested in volunteering like I was doing currently as there’s projects all over the world and would for sure help them. That was that and I went back to my room I was telling Fen about this nice couple I just met outside when I got a text from the woman saying it was the woman I just met and that she was embarrassed to ask but could just tell I was a good person bla bla bla and that they were homeless. I obviously immediately told them they wouldn’t be tonight and to come on over. Long story short, after I hooked them up and helped them she decided to gamble my personal money because she was desperate and addicted to gambling……………. yeah,,,,,,. By some act of God, a touch of crestone and personal struggles I completely understood. I knew that look on her face because I wore it for years. It’s pure shame and disappointment and feeling like you wanted to bury your head from the world and disappear. I know that feeling and I knew when I saw her face that there was nothing I could possibly say to her right now besides, “well what the fuck?” That’s when the stuttering started and the false promises ensued. I know those as well. She promised to meet me up the street and after 25 minutes I knew there was no point and I finally left. I would cut and paste the text she sent me and my response but there’s no point really. 5 pages of apologies and my words which are as follows:
It doesn’t mean anything that “it wasn’t supposed to happen that way”!!!!! Get a grip!!! Excuses excuses excuses and that’s all your life is going to be until you do something about it!!!! Your lucky it was me you took advantage of and not someone desperate like you are or you’d probably be dead for what you did to me!! The only reason I walked away the way I did is because I’ve been there and I hurt people, good people, just like you obviously do but I got my shit together. I saw the bag you left in my car and I dropped it in a dumpster because I’m not going to prison for that bullshit! Get your shit together!! Change your life before it ends, which will be really really soon if you don’t have a long chat with yourself really quickly. Goodluck
And that’s as mean as I could get. I was pissed and very worried because I don’t have money left after having to get hotels. Robin hopefully can hook it up or we are sleeping in the woods foor a week. It was day 2 and I guess every day should have a memorable moment but this particular one was on my mind for a long long long drive through the desert. I wasn’t mad at her as much as I was about getting into panic mode. It’s been a series of learning lessons since the second I pulled out of crestone and got pulled over. Every single one of them ive somehow overcome unreasonable odds to squeak by. Granted I still have like 4,000 more miles to go but i think with robin we will find a way. And not only that but now it’s time to explore. I didn’t explore or get my breath until I got here to san diego but Bernie and I are bonding like never before here. The ocean has a tug on Bernies soul and I’m positive of that because I watched it happen today. He’s in complete love with the ocean and I’m I’m love with watching this dog fall in love everywhere we go because it makes me feel like a really good dog owner and I want to plow that path if need be because these animals are as incredible as you allow them to become. I raised Bernie with very very very few rules and besides the barking at home he’s one of the most loved dogs I’ve ever seen and that makes me feel really good as well. Basically all I need is my dog for happiness because I love him and treat him awesome as much as I can and as long as I do that than he performs well and stays lovable and we all win. I really like it here and it’s way way way more beautiful and clean than I ever thought it could be. Kudos san diego. It’s a big city though and that’s not my thing. I think I’ll find a more affordable area in north california on the way up and through the state and consider finding a work away gig nearby. I hope robin and I decide to get this trip done and get on a road trip together and write our books. That would be fun and we could camp everywhere. It sounds like he met a lady friend and she’s going to fly to san fran and we’ll pick her up. It’s going to be a tight fit but I’m sure we’ll manage. That being said I’m going to wait for robin now.
I won’t be signing off today because o have no idea what time it is. My phone, the clock, and the tv all have different times on them so I don’t know which is the correct