so now what?

That was the question i googled over and over today because after the excitement set in and i slept it off i woke up realizing that i didnt know what i was supposed to do now. Do i have super powers? Can i read peoples minds? Is my life going to be perfect now?  I had all these questions and more. I think the extreme excitement settled into relief and reassurance which is a good feeling to carry around. But i had no idea what a spiritual awaking was, i had only heard talk of it but obviously only learned what i could google and that was all i needed. I am going to post a few of the sites that i am getting my info from based on what i deemed legitimate sources. Basically the top 3 or so before i realized i was just rereading the same information over and over again. What i learned about a “spiritual awaking” was deflating at first but than left me satisfied and eager to keep pushing forward. A lot of what i read explains why i have become such an emotional disaster and also fell head over heals in love with nature and what God gave us right here, for free! I think that my appreciation for what we have here needs to words if we are facebook friends. I fell in love with that and that led to the exploring and hours of silence with myself and my thoughts. That is when i think the wheels came off. Thinking about that this morning i knew that me putting miles on out here was going to be very important and so sticking with the theme of growth and manning up i finally went to the DMV today to get a 100% valid drivers license because i am FINALLY ELIGABLE but was quickly disapointed when i was denied because although i am eligable i currently have unpaid fines and a bench warrant in Brown County from 2012 so i can only assume i never paid my house arrest fees before i left for Florida and now they would appreciate i give them 1460.42 and they would be more than happy to allow me my legal driving privleges back. That is just going to have to wait because i am now on a payment plan because i dont currently have any disposable income but i should be legal by Sept if i keep up with my payments so i have that going for me. That will honestly be a HUGE weight lifted. I honestly cant remember the last time i was completely legal with no restrictions. A decade for sure.

Moving on. is the first site i opened and was the first page i saw that made a reference to “the secret”. That perked me up because i know that shit like the back of my hand, in fact ill probably watch it again tonight because i confirmed that the laws of attraction are cruising in my favor right now. Maybe buying my new friends lunch yesterday played a role but who gives a shit? I know its working and i no longer give a shit who believes me anymore because google helped to put me at ease. It is so exciting really. This site hammers on what your lifes purpose is and what your passionate about. This is the part that really excites me because i no longer ever think about the fact that i cant work on the books ever again and keep my benefits. Thats the least of my concerns because if my future holds the things i love now and the things that get my blood going than great. Photography, writing, traveling, hiking, NOT WATCHING TV. helping people just cuz. I guess ill cut in here and tell you what i did yesterday “just cuz”. I dont remember if i blogged about it or not but i posted a picture i know. I saw those “geeks” sword fighting in the park yesterday when i drove in to medicate and read and just smiled but when i got to my spot i realized that i needed to do something for these guys because they dont even know it but they changed my life. So i went to the grocery store and headed to the deli to see if i could get like a 10 foot sub but that failed.  They did however have a shit ton of wings in the nesco so i settled for 80 wings and i brought them to the park. I walked up to them like i was their fucking high school football coach and cutoff their battle by very sternly saying “bring it in guys” and huddled them up. I just let them know that they taught me a very important lesson about happiness and what they got going is really cool. Next Sunday they are going to Knight me and allow me to particapate. Now i am all off course so i am moving on to the next site.       This site gets down and dirty and i am going to read it over now just for shits as i write. Right away he talks about how having a spiritual awaking isnt going to fix anything just cuz. Its more than than and he talks about being human and how having the awakening makes you MORE HUMAN than ever and i completely agree and understand what he means by that. I think the best way i read it described is; as not being able to taste your whole life and than all of a sudden you had taste and took your first bite of something amazing. Its like i am finally seeing the world as it is and thats a reward in itself. I know what empathy, sympathy, and agony mean now. I have truly felt some terrible things that nobody will ever know what it felt like but thats me. That is something i can understand now when i see people. Before i even think about making fun of or judging anyone i immediatly think of what i could do it that brief 5 second interaction to make their day better. Thats what i am awake too now and i can absolutely see where i have a huge unfair advantage now because i already read all those books that they other newly awakened are rushing off to buy. I started living this way last summer and although i probably didnt come close to perfecting it i can honestly say that i have really been trying hard since Florida. I am putting the work in even if its just reading. I want to learn every single thing i can about ways i can win without all hoops to happiness.

What to Do Now?
For those of you who have embraced this flow and filled yourself with this life force blasting you, I doubt you’ll have this question as the first great swell subsides. You will probably know, and in embracing this transition, you’ll have been actively manifesting what you want. Because you understand that this awakening has been taking you towards what you are truly here to do and what you truly want to be. It can take you towards nothing else. That’s the nature of it.

That part of the article really got me excited because i am positive i fall under that catogory. Hell i have been writing about it for months now. LAWS OF ATTRACTION!!!!!!!      That particular article is just really good anyway and anyone on any kind of a journey could benefit i think.  Its time to pop on the secret and catch some zzz’s for this guy. I have a journey to continue in the morrow. Graham Out (mic drop)

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